Dear Devyn,

I love insects, but—between you and me—I’m a little scared of spiders. I’ve been nervous around them ever since I was a kitten.

I talked about our fears with my friend Paul Strand. He’s a psychologist at Washington State University.

He told me that anxiety about insects or spiders is common. Some people even have phobias of them. That’s an intense fear that causes distress.

Many common fears involve things that were probably dangerous to our ancestors—like snakes, the dark, heights and social rejection.

Strand told me that being afraid of insects is similar.

“It’s almost like a double whammy,” he said. “Bugs can signal contamination like rottenness of something we might eat. They also might be harmful to us if they bite or sting us.”

Often, we avoid things we fear. But avoiding it reinforces our belief that it’s scary. If I run away from a spider, my brain says, “Whew, that feels so much better. I was right to be scared.”

That’s why experts recommend learning relaxation techniques and gently facing those fears.

One way I do that is by being around people who love spiders. I learn interesting facts about spiders—like how to tell if one is male or female. I watch people treat spiders with tenderness—like giving thirsty spiders water with cotton swabs.

Strand told me this works for three reasons.

First, I’m using my brain to learn about spiders. It’s harder to be afraid while using the logical parts of my brain like the prefrontal cortex.

Second, I’m looking at spiders instead of avoiding them. That’s called counter conditioning. When I take small steps toward the thing I fear—instead of running away from it—that reinforces the new idea that maybe it isn’t so scary.

Third, I’m watching people enjoy spiders. That involves social referencing, or the way people (and cats like me) use cues from others to figure out how to react to something. When I see people treat spiders like eight-legged puppies who just need a drink, that starts to change how I think about them, too.

If you want to work on your fear of insects, you can begin by getting curious about them. Maybe pick an insect that’s especially cute and gentle and that does interesting things—like tortoise beetles.

These are golden tortoise beetles (Charidotella sexpunctata, which you can find near you. Adults are gold (picture 1) but turn red when stressed (picture 2). Young tortoise beetles hide under a shield made of poop (picture 3). Images: CC BY-SA 3.0 Ilona Loser/Wiki, CC BY-SA 4.0 Beatriz Moisset/Wiki, USGS Bee Inventory and Monitoring Lab

Tortoise beetles don’t bite or sting. They’re pleasantly round and come in metallic colors. They have telescopic butts they wiggle around like an elephant’s trunk so they can make poop shields. Unlike most insects, they take care of their babies. Plus, tortoise beetles live all over, so once you’re comfortable, you could meet or even befriend one.

The important thing is to keep working on it.

“We override the fear with a new pathway in the brain,” Strand said. “But that pathway is a bit fragile, and we can only overcome the fear if we continue to cultivate the new pathway.”

For you and me both, a little hard work and lots of kindness for ourselves can help us beet-le our fears.

Sincerely,

Dr. Universe